I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize