I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize