it's great music for shaving your balls
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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