so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
