I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
