she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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