and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just want nice things and good sex
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize