I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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