Sry I called you an 8
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
