Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
