it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
