Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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