once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
