I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I looked at my own cervix.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
