Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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