I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
