no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
