She said her name was "party"
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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