im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
