I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
