there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
