Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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