if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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