Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
