kristin has been a bad kristin
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
