Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
