This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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