so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
