I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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