Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
