I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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