Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
