I bet he comes in French.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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