I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize