She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
