Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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