So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
