she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
