it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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