Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
