I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
