it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
