I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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