i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
