Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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