Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so let's talk penis.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
