im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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