i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize