I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
