actually, I'm a sock model
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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