He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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