TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
