:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize