You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
