Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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