Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize