I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He told me they were just razor bumps!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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