I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
