yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
