We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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