it was like eating out sand paper
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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