Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
