So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
