I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
