Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
