I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
All the doctor said was why
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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