would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm jealous of your bromance
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
