I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
