you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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