i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
