I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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