If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
