break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At least life still wants to fuck me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
