You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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