whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
